24 - Hour Crisis Line: (613) 562-2333

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When someone you care about has been sexually assaulted
Supporting someone who has been sexually assaulted requires that we give thought to a number of different factors. These include:

  • Empathic listening.

  • Respect for the woman's choices.

  • An ongoing understanding that a survivor of sexual assault is never to blame.

Listening to and validating a woman's feelings, respecting her decisions, and telling her you believe her are all ways that you can help a survivor deal with what happened to her.

When your partner, friend or daughter tells you that she has been sexually assaulted or sexually abused, she is being very courageous. Disclosure is a frightening act for several reasons:

  • She may feel unstable and out of control. She may be afraid that she will "fall apart" if she starts to tell someone about the assault. This is a normal reaction to her situation, and she needs to be reassured about this. It is also important for her to understand that the disclosure may surface feelings and reactions that affect other parts of her life.

  • She may be afraid that she will not be believed, or that she will be blamed for the attack. Consequently, she will need to be reassured, and will need to hear messages that she is not to blame. In addition, she may want to discuss the fear that significant people in her life (family, partner, etc.) may not believe her, and how to cope with this.

  • She may be afraid of repercussions in several different ways. There is the real fear among sexual assault survivors that the men who assaulted them will find out that they talked and then come back to repeat the assault, and possibly even kill them, or hurt their children/families, as many assailants threaten to do. The legal repercussions of reporting the assault may also be weighing on her mind. She may not want to go through the extended process of police questioning and a trial. She needs to know that she has the right to make this decision, and she needs the information to make it in an informed manner.

  • She may experience physiological reactions especially if the assault happened quite a while in the past, and she has been coping with it by "burying it." For example, she might become ill, suffer from severe migraine headaches, abdominal pains, or have difficulties in breathing.

Asking specific kinds of questions will help facilitate your discussion and will ensure that the woman you are talking to does not feel intimidated or judged in some way. "What" and "How" questions are, in most cases, preferable to "Why" questions. They get to how a woman is feeling and do not make her feel as if she might be to blame for what happened to her.

Open-ended questions encourage an exploration on thoughts and feelings and allows one to respond in several different ways. These questions allow a woman to elaborate on what she wants, in a way that she is comfortable with. For example, "How do you feel about this?" "Can you tell me more about...?" "What is most important to you right now?" etc.

Throughout your interaction with your friend, partner, or daughter who has been sexually assaulted, it is vital that the choices she makes are respected. Because the sexual assault robbed her of her right to choose, an important part of her healing is taking back that power to choose. She must be the one to decide what steps to take and when.

You can provide support for a woman who has survived by listening to her, believing her, and reminding her that she is strong and courageous. This is an important effort and it can make a difference.

Common Feelings Experienced by Survivors of Sexual Assault

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Important Points To Address For A Recent Sexual Assault

The following is a guideline for supporting a woman who has been sexually assaulted and has decided that she would like to talk to you about what happened. As you read through the items, kindly remember that you are not a trained counselor and that no one expects you take on a counselor's role.

Process of Crisis Intervention

  • Establish a rapport by reassuring her that she is safe and that you are there for her to talk to. Tell her that it is a normal and healthy reaction to be upset, and that she might experience feelings stronger than ever before.

  • Assess her immediate needs by assessing her physical needs (injuries, pain) and by encouraging her to give details about the attack.

  • Assess the situation she is in and find out if she has family or friends who would be supportive. Assess her emotional needs and the coping skills that she might have used in the past to deal with a crisis situation.

  • Help her set goals and tasks that she can achieve in a short period of time. Give her support and responsibility to choose an option.

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Services in Ottawa for Victims/Survivors of Sexual Assault

When referring a victim/survivor to services, inform her that it might be good for her to contact organizations to determine their level of accessibility and suitability to her needs (i.e. physical accessibility, philosophical framework, language availability).

Medical Services
We encourage women to seek medical attention after an assault. There is a possibility that there may be internal injuries, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV infection and/or unwanted pregnancy resulting from the assault. Doctors can administer antibiotics to prevent venereal disease and the "morning-after pill" to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

Medical attention is also useful if the woman wants to report the assault to the police. If she chooses to have evidence collected, special procedures are followed and must be done within 72 hours after the assault.

She should seek medical attention wherever she feels most comfortable (family doctor, walk-in clinic, or a hospital-based sexual assault treatment centre). Below we list some of the features of the local hospital based sexual assault treatment centres in Ottawa to help women make informed decisions about where to go.

The Sexual Assault and Partner Abuse Care Program
Ottawa Hospital Civic Campus
1053 Carling Avenue.
24 Hour Telephone: 613-761-4366
TTY: 613-761-4140

For adults 16 years and older.

This program consists of a team of professionals who provide medical care as well as support for emotional, legal and social concerns. If the survivor wants, it will collect the Sexual Assault Evidence Kit, and work in collaboration with Ottawa Police Service and the Ontario Provincial Police to explore her reporting options.

If she decides that she does not want to report the assault or have them collect evidence, she is free to just have a medical examination at this clinic. If she is unsure, she can have the Sexual Assault Evidence Kit administered and then decide if she wants to report the assault (the evidence can be frozen for six months).

The RSATP has staff who are fluent in English/French; TDD telephones available for the deaf/hearing impaired; a low examining chair for easy transfer from a wheelchair, free sign language and cultural interpretation. Medications are provided free of charge. For more information on the procedures and/or the options women have with regards to medical care, please contact the RSATP or the ORCC 24-Hour Crisis Line: 613-562-2333.

Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario
401 Smyth Rd. Ottawa
Emergency: 613-737-2328
TDD: 613-737-2332

For children 0 to 18 years.

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Police and Court Services
If a victim/survivor decides to report the assault to the police, this is what she can expect of her role in the investigation:

Initial Statement
After placing a call to the police, a police car, usually with 2 uniformed officers, will arrive and take the initial report. If she wants to have charges laid the police will then take her to the Regional Sexual Assault Treatment Program to have a Sexual Assault Evidence Kit administered.

Detailed Statement and Victim Impact Statement
After the kit has been administered the police will take her to the police station where she will be asked to describe the incident in detail and make a sworn statement about the incident.

This statement will be used to support any testimony she will make in court. She may also choose to fill out a victim impact statement at some time during the investigation. This statement can be used in court to support her case. The victim impact statement is written by the victim/survivor and outlines the effects of the crime on her.

Identification of the Perpetrator
The victim/survivor will probably be asked for a description of the perpetrator and may be asked to view mug books (in a room by herself) and/or a line up to see if she can identify the perpetrator. She may also be required to describe the perpetrator to a police artist, who will produce a composite drawing. It is likely that she will have to return to the station to go through this procedure at a later time.

Follow-up Questioning by the Police
She may be contacted by the police to answer further questions to assist them in apprehending a suspect or in the gathering of further evidence. She may also be required to return with police to the scene of the assault.

Please note: the victim in a criminal case is not the party pressing charges. The government of Canada, represented by the Crown Attorney presses the charges against a person accused of committing a crime. The victim's role is to serve as a witness to the Crown.

Taking a case though the courts can be a long and painful experience. It may take anywhere from several months to 2 years to complete the whole process.

For more information on the Role of Ottawa Police Service (OPS) and the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP), or on the process of reporting sexual assaults and the court process, please contact ORCC 24 hour crisis line: 613-562-3333 or the police.

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Options for Medical Attention and Reporting Procedures
There are 6 options to consider:

  1. Not report the assault/not get medical attention.
    The victim/survivor does not have to face the difficult emotions of having a medical exam, and reporting the assault. It is her choice to make. However, she needs to be made aware of the risks of internal injuries, unwanted pregnancy, venereal disease and HIV.

  2. Report the assault within 72 hours and undergo the sexual assault evidence (SAE) kit.
    The victim/survivor is making a public statement that what happened is not OK. It is, however, a long process that occurs at a time when she is likely feeling vulnerable.

  3. Receive medical attention without reporting.
    This can prevent disease, injuries, etc. in a more comfortable setting of her choice and not have to endure the long police and medical procedures. The disadvantage is that nothing will be done to convict the perpetrator. It is important to help the victim/survivor understand that she is not at fault and that her well-being is the most important concern.

  4. Receive medical attention without the SAE kit and report the assault at a later date.
    The victim/survivor can receive medical attention when and where she chooses, without the intrusiveness of the SAE. The disadvantage is that if she decides to report later, much of the evidence is lost and there is less chance of conviction.

  5. Undergo the SAE and have it stored for up to 6 months.
    At any time during the 6 months the victim/survivor may decide to report the assault and release the kit to the police or have the kit destroyed. This allows her more time to think whether or not she wants to report. The advantage of this option is that control of the process is with the victim/survivor and evidence is not lost. The disadvantage is that the chance of conviction declines with time.

  6. Have a third party report submitted to the police.
    This can be done by an ORCC worker, or someone else the victim/survivor chooses, and receive medical attention with the doctor of her choice. The report is documented and police may use the information in investigations. The victim/survivor may feel empowered because she has done something to help protect other women. However, the information can not be used in trying the perpetrator for another assault crime.

Please see the following link for more information on reporting issues

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Counselling

Why is it important to get support/counselling?
There is no right or wrong way to react to sexual violence. A victim/survivor may wonder if she should or should not be feeling a certain way, how long she should feel it for or whether she should "be over it by now." A counsellor can help a woman understand that she is not alone, that whatever she feels is good and right for her; and that each woman responds in her own way.

A counsellor can also provide information about a victim/survivor's rights and options after the assault. In addition to the Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre, the following organizations provide counselling and support to women in Ottawa who have experienced sexual violence:

CALACS – Francophone d'Ottawa
24-Hour Crisis Line: 613-789-9117
TDD: 613-789-9596

For Francophone women who have experienced sexual violence.

Sexual Assault Support Centre (SASC)
24-Hour Crisis Line: 613-234-2266
TDD: 613-725-1657

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Sexual Assault Trauma
Sexual assault trauma syndrome is the reorganization process that occurs as a result of sexual assault or attempted sexual assault. This syndrome includes behavioural, physical and psychological reactions to an extremely stressful and life-threatening situation.

Rape is not a sexual act. It is an act of violence with sex as the weapon. It is not surprising that the victim/survivor experiences a syndrome with specific symptoms as a result of the attack made upon her.

Sexual assault trauma syndrome is usually a three-phase reaction:

  1. The Acute Phase - Disorganization
    Following the sexual assault, the woman may experience a wide range of emotions. Feelings of fear, anger, and anxiety are common. These feelings may be masked in a calm, composed manner, or they may elicit behaviours such as sobbing, restlessness or tenseness.

    Physical reactions may include soreness, bruising, headaches, fatigue, sleep disturbances, edginess, stomach problems, nausea, genital disturbances, infections and eating disorders.

    Emotional reactions range from fear, humiliation, and embarrassment to anger, revenge and self-blame. Self-blame stems from the attitude of blaming women for sexual assault crimes (an attitude prevalent in our society).     Women often internalize these attitudes. Another common emotion is fear of death and physical violence.

  2. The Reorganization Phase - Long Term Process
    Victims/survivors experience disorganization following a sexual assault. Various factors affect their coping behaviour regarding the trauma (ego strength, social network support, and the way people treated them as survivors/victims). This coping process begins at different times for individual women.

    Long term effects may consist of efforts to regain a sense of control over her life, sometimes through changing residence. Survivors/victims often move to ensure safety and to facilitate her ability to function in a "normal" way. Some women take trips out of the province or country. Another common reaction is to change home phone numbers to unlisted numbers - as a precautionary measure or in reaction to threatening/obscene calls. Many women turn to family members, not normally seen daily, for support.

    Many survivors experience vivid dreams and nightmares. These often involve reliving the assault. Dreams can act as a catharsis, in which a survivor may experience the overpowering or killing of her attacker.

  3. The Reintegration Phase
    This is a time when the survivor feels better able to deal with fears and other emotions. It is at this point that many survivors are able to feel in charge of their life and in control of what will happen in the future.

    It is important to note that survivors of sexual assault need support and encouragement throughout this difficult process. Being able to openly discuss their feelings and reactions with supportive listeners is helpful. Support can come from a friend, teacher, family member or therapist.