The holidays often arrive with heavy expectations: to be cheerful, to gather with family, to spend money, and to fit neatly into traditions. For survivors of violence, these pressures can stir painful memories, feelings of isolation, or reminders of unsafe dynamics. Even moments that appear joyful can feel complicated when your body and mind are carrying the impact of trauma.
But the truth is, the holidays don't come with one script. You have permission to rewrite them, to pause them, or to step away from them entirely. However you choose to move through this season is enough. You are enough, exactly as you are.
Gentle Strategies for Care
- Give yourself permission to set boundaries.
You are allowed to say no. Whether that means skipping a gathering, leaving early, or choosing not to engage in certain conversations; you have the right to protect your energy and well-being. Boundaries are a form of self-care, not selfishness. - Create moments of grounding.
If you notice yourself feeling triggered, anxious, or overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help bring you back into the present. This year, ORCC has created a comprehensive Holiday Grounding Toolkit filled with practical strategies and activities to support your emotional well-being throughout the season. - Reimagine traditions.
Holidays don't have to look one way. You can create new rituals that feel healing for you, whether it's watching a favorite movie, cooking a comforting meal, journaling, or spending time in nature. Small, intentional acts can feel powerful. - Lean on safe and supportive connections.
If family spaces feel unsafe, connections can still be found in chosen families, friends, community, faith groups, or supportive peers. Even a brief check-in with someone who "gets it" can bring warmth during an isolating time. - Make space for rest.
Trauma often leaves the nervous system on high alert. Rest, whether through naps, meditation, prayer, reading, or simply doing nothing is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Give yourself permission to slow down.
Grounded for the Holidays is a gentle, trauma-informed guide created to support survivors of sexual and gender-based violence as they move through a season that can often feel heavy, activating, or isolating. Instead of offering pressure to “be merry,” this guidebook invites readers to reconnect with themselves through grounding practices, sensory-based coping tools, and reflective prompts that honour the complexity of this time of year.
Rooted in compassion and accessibility, Grounded for the Holidays helps survivors navigate triggers, set boundaries, create moments of rest, and cultivate emotional safety in ways that feel authentic and possible. Whether someone is spending the holidays alone, with chosen family, or in complicated environments, the guide provides validating, non-judgmental support to meet them exactly where they are.
More than a resource, it’s an offering of steadiness, a reminder that survivors deserve gentleness, spaciousness, and care, not only during the holidays but every day.
If in Crisis
You are not alone if this season feels hard. Many survivors feel guilt or shame for not experiencing the "holiday spirit." Remember: your reactions make sense given what you've been through.
If you notice overwhelming distress, flashbacks, or thoughts of hurting yourself, please reach out for support. ORCC's 24/7 Crisis Line is here for you at (613) 562-2333. Sometimes, just having another voice on the line can make things feel a little more bearable.
We wish you a beautiful, healing, and calming holiday season, filled with moments of peace, connection, and self-care. May you carry grounding and joy into the new year.
Author Bio: Zahara Sheikh is a Registered Social Worker (RSW) and Psychotherapist in good standing with the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (OCSWSSW) based in Ottawa, ON. She brings over eight years of dedicated experience in working with and supporting survivors of violence. Her commitment lies in cultivating a therapeutic space that seamlessly integrates psychological expertise, cultural sensitivity, and spiritual alignment, acknowledging and honoring the unique intersectionality of each individual’s journey.
